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Dylan

Bear lady advise

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I food in pub agin now and up chat bear lady agan. I think I heel over head with her she wear tatto and pierced, roll own fag and drink bear like me. She even play dart board game when not serve bear, but I thrash her at 301 bull finish! She get tin hat! I tell her i live on luxur boat and have massive inverter. She say that wat they all say, i think this your innenduo i not get? I fib bit and big up boat and she smile. I get drunck and sentimental just going ask her on date then bloody Evils Presley come on music box sing 'wise man say only fool rush in.' Now I bottle und not ask her. Have I blown? Screw you Evils :(

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8 minutes ago, NB Lola said:

If you turn off predictice text, your typing might improve!

you way flying above me head now i just learned bowels aeiou sometime y. I listen this from song on  radio 88 to 91fm:)

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22 minutes ago, NB Lola said:

If you turn off predictice text, your typing might improve!

I thought he wanted advice about bare ladies.

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2 minutes ago, David Mack said:

I thought he wanted advice about bare ladies.

I in enoguh trouble with wife :o I hear song by funny man and this me

Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain
She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane
Gonna buy a fast car
Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

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9 hours ago, Dylan said:

I in enoguh trouble with wife :o I hear song by funny man and this me

Gonna buy a tank and an aeroplane
When she catches up with me
Won't be no time to explain
She thinks I've been with another woman
And that's enough to send her half insane
Gonna buy a fast car
Put on my lead boots
And take a long, long drive
I may end up spending all my money
But I'll still be alive

Keep moving.

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1 hour ago, Peter Reed said:

Keep moving.

I must she built like outside toilet.

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13 hours ago, Dylan said:

I food in pub agin now and up chat bear lady agan. I think I heel over head with her she wear tatto and pierced, roll own fag and drink bear like me. She even play dart board game when not serve bear, but I thrash her at 301 bull finish! She get tin hat! I tell her i live on luxur boat and have massive inverter. She say that wat they all say, i think this your innenduo i not get? I fib bit and big up boat and she smile. I get drunck and sentimental just going ask her on date then bloody Evils Presley come on music box sing 'wise man say only fool rush in.' Now I bottle und not ask her. Have I blown? Screw you Evils :(

When i read this, a Chinese accent comes in to my mind, becomes even funnier then.

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I think Dylan is from Tiger Bay as I hear a Welch accent but with a very strong calypso influence and I think I know his wife !

 

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31 minutes ago, Dylan said:

Sorry I told  to stop this.

By whom? Has that girlfriend come back to boss you about again?

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Just now, Athy said:

By whom? Has that girlfriend come back to boss you about again?

I told to stop this morn. I said sorry. No fun now.

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1 minute ago, Dylan said:

I told to stop this morn. I said sorry. No fun now.

If enough people tell you to, will you start again? This has been the most richly comic thread in months.

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1 minute ago, NB Lola said:

I say start I mod, I have vespas

Scoot!

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1 hour ago, Athy said:

If enough people tell you to, will you start again? This has been the most richly comic thread in months.

I try hardest, but like they said, you cant please every ones. I do my best to be idiots and sometime make axent sound worse for fun. Soemtime I posted in wrong tread were serius busness happen like brexiting. I get telling off by moderate for daft joke in brexits today. I pormise to try hardest an put this shit behind my body. will sit in vitrual pub only now.
Luv you alls xx

Edited by Dylan

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You need to rename the boat to "After You" then when you meet a bird in the pub and chat them up. When they tell you their name you tell them "What a lovely name, I've got a boat named after you, would you like to see it ?"

Works every time

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5 minutes ago, Tonka said:

You need to rename the boat to "After You" then when you meet a bird in the pub and chat them up. When they tell you their name you tell them "What a lovely name, I've got a boat named after you, would you like to see it ?"

Works every time

I like idea.
My first boat call lard arse after muther in laws.
I find out tthe bear lady is with man on big boat with tracshon battries and travle powers. How i compete with this with my littles springer with morco. I just bin shopping for tile to smart boat  bit and lady sellin tiles nice. She carry full bag adhesion in  one hand! my kinda gal :)  I think i up chat her some more. I like that she make joke about mens peeing and miss toilets. She call it elicopter peeing. I must find new girl before too old.  am 72 years high now but plenty tread on tyres. As you says plenty good tune from old fiddles.
My baot friend manfred  he go out and find new girl ever night even two some nite. They then love and makes load noise. I throw bucket water on them one nite! He get mingers often but don't seem bothred. He then eat tin wiskas and sleep all day. I think the is vagra in wiskas.

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1 hour ago, NB Lola said:

I say start I mod, I have vespas

little me on dad vespa dugless :)

img014.jpg

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My Eye-Spy vehickle registrashun numba boook sez that that Vespa JCK 784 numba    CK was ishewd bye ''Preston'' burra cownsill. Kno suphix sow pre 1963.

Edited by bizzard

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11 minutes ago, bizzard said:

My Eye-Spy vehickle registrashun numba boook sez that that Vespa JCK 784 numba    CK was ishewd bye ''Preston'' burra cownsill. Kno suphix sow pre 1963.

Thanks Bizz
i think 1956

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4 minutes ago, Dylan said:

Thanks Bizz
i think 1956

The furst ona problee lived in the Preston, Lankasheer airya.

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