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Pointless features on boats


Dave_P

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2 hours ago, Machpoint005 said:

When does Johanna Konta become Australian (or Hungarian)?

Oh she'll be safe this year. No-one expected her to get this far so we won't mind if she bows out in the semi. 

Of course if she wins then she better win next year too...

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18 hours ago, tagulablue said:

Anybody said fake grass on roofs or decks

:lol: aagggghhhhh I kid you not one passed us here yesterday with fake grass on the roof................you simply couldn't make it up!!

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18 minutes ago, mrsmelly said:

:lol: aagggghhhhh I kid you not one passed us here yesterday with fake grass on the roof................you simply couldn't make it up!!

There is a boat near us which has fake grass on the roof, and a flat steel extension on the cruiser stern, beyond the rudder. It has a For Sale sign on it :(

Edited by Richard10002
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3 minutes ago, Richard10002 said:

There is a boat near us which has fake grass on the roof, and a flat steel extension on the cruiser stern, beyond the rudder. It has a For Sale sign on it :(

It's a high price as hoping to get selected for the 2019 British Open.....

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16 hours ago, Richard10002 said:

There is a boat near us which has fake grass on the roof, and a flat steel extension on the cruiser stern, beyond the rudder. It has a For Sale sign on it :(

I just passed one today, it was a narrow Dutch Barge style called Gnome/Elf or some such, I was more intrigued by the Bull Dog type beastie lying comfortably on a deck of plastic grass. Different!

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22 hours ago, nbfiresprite said:

The helmsman wearing a brazer and peaked officer cap on a posh narrowboat or gin palace.

Boats flying the jolly roger  

Would that be a blazer or brazier, or even a brassiere ? 

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3 hours ago, zenataomm said:

I just passed one today, it was a narrow Dutch Barge style called Gnome/Elf or some such, I was more intrigued by the Bull Dog type beastie lying comfortably on a deck of plastic grass. Different!

 

2 hours ago, Ray T said:

18664406_10209581282155422_6661487742750340212_n.jpg

Could it be "The green green grass of home?" :)

Surely  "the green, green grass of gnome" :D

OK OK, I'll  get me coat.

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I was thinking about a layer of insulating foil and some grass to keep the boat cool in summer extremes and warm in winter extremes, , but I;d not have it flopping all over the place, and it would not be there all the time.

Not too sure why that little nb has those doors ,,, very distinctive....................

Edited by LadyG
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18 hours ago, zenataomm said:

I just passed one today, it was a narrow Dutch Barge style called Gnome/Elf or some such, I was more intrigued by the Bull Dog type beastie lying comfortably on a deck of plastic grass. Different!

Another pointless feature there the narrow dutch barge. 

Why?

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28 minutes ago, WotEver said:

I believe you just answered your own question. 

When I say "distinctive", I am being kind. The doors appear to have taken a lot of material [possibly a usefull pallet?] and a lot of effort, and end up being totally pointless. The boat itself is charming, but the grass is just OTT

Edited by LadyG
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4 hours ago, LadyG said:

When I say "distinctive", I am being kind. The doors appear to have taken a lot of material [possibly a usefull pallet?] and a lot of effort, and end up being totally pointless.

Not pointless because they allow access to the gas locker. Distinctive for sure, and not to my taste, but I guess the owner likes them. 

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4 hours ago, WotEver said:

Not pointless because they allow access to the gas locker. Distinctive for sure, and not to my taste, but I guess the owner likes them. 

Yes pointess, because access to gas locker is only restricted due to he doors being there.

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7 hours ago, LadyG said:

Yes pointess, because access to gas locker is only restricted due to he doors being there.

If they weren't there the fore deck would be open to the elements. It's more usually closed off with a triangular cratch board, often glazed, often with opening doors. In this case the cratch board is square with opening barn doors. 

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On 07/10/2017 at 10:22, Mike the Boilerman said:

 

My mum and dad who both grew up in Hayes, viewed boaters with deep suspicion and mistrust. Best avoided, they taught me as I grew up. I suspect this was a virtually universal attitude at the the time amongst those living on the bank. 

I did heartbreak hill by accident the first time. I was vaguely looking out for a difficult and tricky climb which never came, so I looked up properly where it was and found out I'd already done it. I think the 'problem' with the Cheshire Locks is they are awkwardly spaced. Too far apart to quickly walk between them when lockwheeling, yet to close to be stopping the boat to pick up your crew at every lock. And they just keep on coming.

But yes it's odd and irritating the way names for stuff get changed then when we use the correct name, someone tells us the new, incorrect name is the correct one. Buckby cans are a prime example.

The longshaft is another. "The what? Oh, you mean the barge pole"!

There are a lot of former Gropec*** Lanes around the country that will need their true names reinstated.

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On 7/5/2017 at 14:31, mrsmelly said:

All of the above.

The worst ever are 

Pram hoods

Cratch covers

I see engine rooms are on the list as a waste of space. Makes sense... But without one (And with the engine under the stern deck) I've been told pram hoods are a good idea for inclement weather, keeping the engine nice and dry etc

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On 7/6/2017 at 14:29, Nunovyrbizz said:

Yep, always when you have an audience!

I was single handing through Berkhamsted towards Hemel on a boiling hot day earlier this year when I reached the Rising Sun lock. It was packed with people sitting outside all around the lock and on the beams.

Did my thing in a really efficient manner ( even though I say so myself!) even attracting the comment "you've done this before mate". Strolled round with a puffed up chest asking people sat round the beam to "MIND YOUR BACKS LADIES AND GENTS"

Cruised out of the lock,little burst of reverse then to neutral, put eye of my rope over stern cleat and hopped off holding rope then ran up stairs to close lock gates, bloody rope came off the cleat. Collective "ooooh" from crowd as I stood holding limp rope and my boat drifted away from the bank.

chest rapidly deflating and cheeks reddening, I watched my boat move to the centre of the channel ( it's kinda wide below that lock) totally out of reach.

After about 5 mins pondering with (it felt like) thousands of eyes upon me, I realised I should let some water through the lock to create a flow and hopefully my boat would get pushed to the side. This worked,as my boat headed to the offside I shut the paddles and took a wooded footpath to the offside where I emerged to see my boat nestled on the tow path. Cue the walk of shame back down the footpath and in front of all the drinkers who were unsuccessfully trying to hold in their laughter.

I will now only travel through that lock first thing in the morning before the pub opens!!

Classic! And well told...

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