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As the cold, damp evenings draw in, light the stove, pull up a seat, and settle down for my tale of boat deal woe*. Told at some length. This is a really, really long post. I enjoyed writing it. But, please, feel free to lose interest and wander off right about now, no offence will be taken...if nobody reads it, or everyone just wants to joke about how long it is, I'll live! For anyone curious, and who can be bothered, here we go: Having looked at a lot of boats to live aboard this year, I did eventually find three I was interested in. They were mainly private sales. The first was a lovely and practical narrow boat with an intriguing and unusual technical set up. I was the second viewing. I missed out as the person who saw it just before me phoned the owner while I was looking around and offered the asking price. I couldn't have found the money to “gazump” them even if had wanted to – but I wouldn't, anyway, nasty business, that. First come first served, I say; fair enough and lucky them. The second was another narrow boat, unusual as she was completely open plan except the heads at one end. On a narrow beam, I really like that - maybe it works better if you're a singleton like me, but anyway I like it, and I haven't seen it often. On the viewing, the owner - who said he'd bought it as a sailaway - had nothing whatsoever in the way of paperwork, didn't know what RCD is, didn't have any receipt for the sailaway even, nothing from the builders, nothing at all except a BSS, and no HIN that we could see or he knew about. I know some people are happy to buy and sell boats like that, but I decided to tell him I liked his boat but I wasn't the right buyer. He found someone less fussy a few days later, he said, and fair play to them all if that's how they want to do things. They're probably not likely to have any problems, but rather them than me, frankly. The third was on a brokerage. And it was perfect for me. An unusual boat. A 45' wide beam – but only a bit wide – 9'6”. Perfect for life on the cut in the Southeast, I think. I don't want a 60 by 11 or 12 foot monster boat (and I can't afford a good one anyway). But a little extra width is nice for living on every day. And this was a little beauty. The independent and personally recommended surveyor I eventually used agreed very strongly. But more about that later. Unusually for a broader beamed boat, it was not just a “scaled up” narrow boat, but had been properly designed by a pretty well known marine architect who lived up the road from the fabricators who had built it, and, seemingly, advised on its construction. Excellent double chined hull and good welding, and lots of little details like extra sacrificial strakes, that you don't usually see, to keep it in good nick, tidy and dry, the water running off in all the right places. ... And some really nice lines to boot. I know some of you won't believe me, on a broad beam canal boat, but, well, do. The fit out – mainly professional – was very solid; nothing fancy, but good materials and had all the essentials. Some creature comforts would need adding, but she was extremely ship shape and tidy, with an immaculate engine, and professionally and simply (ie sensibly!) fitted gas, electrics and kabola heating system. The décor was ugly as sin – they managed three different shades of brown carpet in the saloon alone! But that stuff is easily rectified. All the serious stuff was great. The bilges in the inspection hatch in the galley, the inside of the long and carefully shaped swim, the engine and engine hole, all looked clean and with no sign of any corrosion whatsoever or even much in the way of dampness. In fact, she looked hardly used. In fact she looked... hardly finished. The ash T&G panelling was as solid as everything else on the boat. The bedroom and bathroom were fine...although the casette toilet was still in it's box...sure, they took the old one out, before putting it on the market, right? The galley was solid and functional, but looked like it had been put in without anywhere near the same amount of attention to details or quality materials as the rest of the boat. But that was probably the bit the owner did, so that probably explains that. And the lounge? A badly fitted carpet and two chairs that looked like they were never sat in. And nothing else. Not a single shelf. Nothing. It looked like it had got just about finished then something happened. I said as much to the guy from the yard who let me in to look at her. He shrugged and said he couldn't see it himself. So I asked the broker, but it wasn't a traditional brokerage with a yard, it was am international one with “territories” - and he'd “inherited” the vessel from the last broker to represent the area he was in. So he couldn't shed much light on it, nor, I think be bothered to chase up my queries. And I didn't manage to establish direct communication with the buyer. I think I let the fact it was on brokerage lull me. I think I kind of told myself, stop worrying about these little mysteries, there must be reasons for these things. It wasn't a cheap boat by any means, and I felt it was over priced - I haggled hard, and got a big chunk taken off, nearly 25%. We agreed on £50k. I felt I'd done a good job of bargaining, but in the end I think it was still a good price for the owner – I would later see a valuation for £60k from when it was brand new - 2009. I put down the deposit and got my signed sales agreement. I was excited. People would occasionally say she's as good as yours now, when are you taking ownership? I kept telling them, the deal's not done 'til it's done. I told myself that. But did I listen to myself? Or, instead, did I start dreaming about the life on a boat where I fancied I might spend many years? Have a guess. Anyway, I got a survey . Glowing. He was really impressed. I also got some legal advice. I know. I know, most people don't, but why not? It's a serious investment, and you might as well know what's what, you can still do what you like and ignore advice if you want. Last thing before, I thought, transferring the rest of the money, was the water trial. The broker dragged his heals, saying he hadn't realised I wanted one, even though the agreement stipulates the purchaser is due one after the survey. I explained I hadn't been able to see the engine running with the boat under way, we just needed to motor for 20 minutes and see the clutch is alright and the engine behaves ok up to temperature. In the end he met me there, where we would also confirm all the paperwork – he had said it was all on the boat. The trial was fine. The papers? Not so much. We found the RCD stuff all present and correct, and a BSC. But nothing about the boat's ownership (or VAT status, for that matter), no receipt for the purchase from the yard (it had had one owner). Nothing. So the broker phoned the vendor, who said he thought it was on the boat, but would look at home. He couldn't find the invoices. Of course, it said on the agreement he'd signed that he would provide documentary evidence of ownership and VAT status. No problem, though, we all said. The yard where the boat was built is right here. All they need to do is dig up an old invoice and we're good to go. But no, as the papers were over 6 years old, they'd been put into storage off-site, and the yard wasn't interested in digging them up – although I did offer to pay generously for someone's time and expenses in digging it out of storage, and, it turns out later, the yard itself was taking half the broker's commission in this sale, so they did have a vested interest in getting the deal over the line. Fair dos, paperwork is annoying. The broker and I agreed that since the vendor was saying VAT was paid and that he owned the boat outright, we would get the lawyer to draw up a declaration saying just what the vendor said - which he could sign and get legally witnessed. I'd give him the money, he'd give me the boat keys, we'd all be happy. But no. He refused to sign. He sent a two line delcaration of his own devising, with his signature electronically addded – he told us! - by his wife/ And not witnessed by anyone, let alone a Notary Public. Now, I know I'm very, very square, and that loads of people don't care about this stuff. But I do. The broker said there was nothing more he could do, but obviously by this time I was out of pocket for the survey and also a few hundred quid of lawyers fees. I asked if he really thought the guy wanted to be chased for the money I'd spent, rather than taking all my money... and all at the same time as having to find another buyer for his over priced boat in the middle of winter? Why not sign? And why the hell had thee broker not checked the papers in the first place? I was so cross with him for leading me up the garden path like that – if it had been a private sale, I would have found out there were no papers early doors, and sighed, and moved on, no expenses, barely wistful a look over the shoulder. So I got in touch with the broker's bosses. They tried to get the deal over the line, but ended up saying they too found themsleves thinking that there was indeed something fishy about the deal/ They couldn't work out what, but as a result they had told the vendor they were no longer happy to represent his vessel, and the boat was taken off their books. Since then, I've been in touch with the owner, in a friendly way – first of all a hand written note to say why don't we meet, I'll buy him a beer or coffee of meal, so we can hear each other's side of the story directly, instead of chinese whispers through the broker? Who knows maybe we could save the deal? Nothing. So I've sent another letter saying please get in touch, nobody likes to chase for money, or be chased. And without knowing the whole story, for all I know he's a victim in this, too. But he's not answering. I said that if I didn't hear from him next week I'd have to assume he doesn't want to get in touch (and it was signed for delivery so I know he or his wife have seen it now). I guess the next letter from me will be telling him how much he owes me, probably with a small claims court date attached. Let's see how that goes, I'm not especially optimistic I'll get the money, but it's there in black and white on the agreement he signed that I should. Really, though, I suspect the ship yard, somehow – some unpaid bills or someone went bust or something. It's guesswork, but that's my gut feeling. But what can I do if nobody even talks to me? On the one hand I suspect if I'd bought it nothing bad would have happened, and I've had had an unusual boat that might just be exactly right for me. But on the other hand, I feel like that's a bit like being sad you didn't take the bait on a trap – something, I don't know what, was surely fishy about this, don't you think? Or am I just being paranoid and anal about papers which some are happy not to worry about? To be honest I'd do the same again, walk away – but I'm curious to know what people think. If anybody could actually be bothered to read the whole post. I like spinning a yarn, but I don't know how good a job I did here! *Obviously, we're talking irritation, not actual woe here, I'm well aware that life has worse things in store for all of us than boat deals going wrong!