Midnight Lady

I was talking to a chap that moors near me today - he is in his eighties and has lived on his boat for 40 years he tells me. He also mentioned that he goes swimming in the river (Avon) wearing a tractor tyre inner tube and told me that he goes towards the weir because he is "not a strong swimmer and the current will just pull you towards the weir and its shallower there so I can clamber out and walk back " (presumably in his pants wearing a rubber ring). He also added "and if you miss and go over the weir its quite fun in a rubber ring". Now I know that these days people are far too health and safety conscious and taking the odd risk is ok really but this is completely barking isn't it? However I am a little bit in awe..................

I have read all the way through this in the hope that Martin Hughes-Games has a boat. Massive MASSIVE crush there. 'spose it saves me setting off round the system to look for him. ml

Ladders - yes they can be treacherous. Particularly if it is icy or if you are going downhill (as they are then wet and slimey). I have seen organised boaters with nice little clippy things on their belts for their windlass so they are not clmbing down one handed... On the other hand jumping can be quite dangerous too. I have always used a centre line in the canals but now I am on the rivers I get told off if I am seen doing that and made to tie up fore and aft. The things I have found damn near impossible single handing are (in reverse order of impossible-ness) 1. Really loose lock gates where one opens when you shut the other. If you are going uphill open the top paddle a little and that pushes them shut. 2. Really stiff lock gates that you can't shift. Wait for a jogger. I guess if you were really desperate you could use the boat but I have never had to. 3. Bloody swing bridges. Yes it is just about possible to do them but its like some sort of challenge from the krypton factor, particularly the big electric ones. I asked BW as was why they put the mechanism on the offside (so you can open it but then cannot get back to your boat) and they said it was to stop people leaving it open. There are loads of these on the L&L. If I am doing anything wrong here please let me know - this is just how I work and its all a bit self taught.

Did it last year - no trouble (other than dealing with a boat full of dozy teenaged boys working their way down with me who kept leaving paddles up, and a horrible dead fox that was in the top lock). At Blackburn lock someone has nicked the metal mooring bollards before, in and after the lock(a right pain if you like me are single handing). Maybe they have been replaced by now...... The pub at the top of Johnsons locks is ok for a sandwich (even better was the lemon and garlic steak being cooked by some drunk people just sat by the lock - they gave me a bit and it was lovely). Moorings - I moored overnight in Chorley on the way down. Can't remember exact place (bridge 76?) but there was a fabulous pub if you crossed the canal and went up a hill a little way. Really really good food and let me charge my mobile while I was there. At Wigan one or two of the locks in the middle of the flight are leaking badly from the side - had a mad panic as water shot into the side of my boat hard enough to tip it. Recommend going into the lower side (ie the downhill bit) if it has been raining heavily. All the lock gates leaked too so stay well back. About three locks up from the bottom the sluice was blocked with rubbish and the pound had flooded. I had to clear it (took ages) and wait until it went down enough to get the gates open. Looks as if it may happen regularly. I vaguely remember having to avoid something horrible sticking out of the side of the canal when I got to the bottom of the flight and headed left towards the Leigh Branch - either a bit bit of dumped metal or a bit of the canal side that had broken. It looked solid and substantial and sharp so I went round it. I moored at Dover Bridge on the Leigh - nice boaters there and a decent pub. Hope this helps! ML I did the flight with another boat - no trouble fitting us both in the locks although I am 52 foot and the other boat was about 40 foot

Oh that is so sweet.....young and in love

The Avon is dropping at Strensham - got back on board. Over the last week I have heard two theories for why its so volatile lately. 1) the flood defences at Pershore are pushing water down to Strensham, Bredon and Tewkesbury and 2) the sluices have been automated so that there is noone holding a bit back and allowing moderate floods along the stretch rather than one bloody big one at the end. Not sure if these are correct - I have only been here since July. And of course it has been raining pretty much non stop all year.

I noticed that they didn't show the bathroom - bet it was a porta potti and a teeny damp shower. Loved the study bed though (available online at about £1700 for a small double.....but unfortunately Santa can't get down my teeny chimney)

I'm not much of one for proper photos (plus its a bit hard to take them on your own - I have loads looking down the length of the boat though) but I am in the far background of the 18th November 2012 14:00.... ...but I can't get it to paste in here. That was rubbish wasn't it.

Ooh does that work? Better get some false eyelashes on next time I go to fill up then. Seriously though all the credit goes to Roger - I was plenty girlie enough once I was moored to have a good sniffle. ML

Was it you that went past shouting (ironically I assumed) "slow down!"? I was on tickover just in case throttling up went wrong again which made for an interesting moment at Upton when I barely made it into the marina (visitor pontoons were full). I will be heading down to tewkesbury on saturday if you are going that way! ML

Well we got down the trent and Mersey and down the Shroppie and a bit of the something and worc to Stourport and got to the Severn on Thursday. Now given that I felt I was drenched, on the edge of trenchfoot and kept being asked if I had fallen in and had never been on a river before I made an empassioned plea to forget the whole bloody thing and head back up to Burnley - however I was roundly ignored and found myself on a huge and unervingly swishy body of water. After a couple of hours of not dying I began to feel a little teeny bit better..... ...then just out of Diglis locks....with trees careering past and the rain pelting down.... ....my engine packed up. Heading towards some very very big and expensive, if somewhat fragile, looking boats I managed to start it for about 10 seconds - enough to get some steerage and avoid broadsiding them in agiant game of skittles. Another desperate restart and I avoided the next big boat...then on the last attempt to restart... ...the key broke off in the ignition. I was contemplating the anchor - which I had owned for about 6 hours and had been assured I would never really need as it was for emergencies only (buit which I had dutifully attached to to boat and had at the back ready for action - a right little girl scout I am) when an unnaturally calm chap called Roger - acting as if he did this every 45 minutes or so - strolled out of his boat (which I had missed by a whisker) and lassoed me. We moored it and he then dismantled the ignition and dropped the whatnots out of it so I can now start with a screwdriver. Once I had stopped shaking and had a large sherry I checked a few idiot items and once convinced I was not going to look a complete wombat called Alastair at the new moorings who recommended Keith - Keith came on Friday and fixed me up (sludge in the diesel basically) and I went very very gingerly down to Upton in a roaring gale. Proper waves and everything. Terrifying. I am sure I will become a river girl given time but a gentler start might have been more encouraging....... ML

Oh god now I'm terrified (and still broke). I suppose I had better get one before something dreadful happens. I have not fallen in yet but it will probably happen now I have read this and my last thoughts will be "damn should have got one". Maybe if I can avoid falling in and dying before my birthday I can ask for a lifejacket (seriously!). Of course I am starting the big move next week with various helpers at various tages so I probably should buy 2 now. I am so entirely hopeless.

I used to have a bag of crisps (cheese and onion by preference) with both a pickled egg AND a dash of Worcestershire sauce in....but then we were sophisticated....... ML

Thank you - that's exactly what I need! If any of you see me in my increasingly scruffy boat (I will paint her in Evesham but not before and I can't afford a new cratch cover until at least next year but I have got blue duct tape which is nearly as good)please wave. ML

Hi The migration south continues soon. The boat is currently lodged at Preston Brook (temporarily) and will be heading (I currently think) for Evesham. Does anyone have any recommendations for overnight places to stop - ideally with a pub or something nice to see or do? Any advice welcome! ML

God I worry about this a lot. I am glad there is a thread. I don't care about boats passing me - never had an issue, sort of expect a bit of bobbing about and so on. I fret like an anxious hen over passing other boats. I try to go at slow (zimmer frame) walking pace but sometimes have to throttle up if I have a sudden need to steer (for example when someone suddenly appears round the corner). I tend to be on the move really early in the morning and creep past other boats worrying all the way. I had not considered the forward thrust of water enough I think. I need to slow down sooner. All that said I have had one person shout at me once (and he was just round a corner and I really didn't see him in time) and one person that may have been irritated (she tapped loudly on her window but then waved when I looked). Has anyone here been passed by me? Am I going slowly enough? ML

Has anyone checked that it actually is a fox and not the top of a ginger headed ponytailed lock-keeper?

I have travelled at night but only up to about 10pm and being on my own won't do locks in the dark. I do go very slowly past other boats (infact I go very slowly at all times - whether in the boat or not). It is lovely particularly if there is a nice moon.

Half Man Half Biscuit.

Oh of course - its not like a lock is it? Duh. Right in that case I will go on it!