Please cheer me up!

[tagulablue]

So took boat in to boatyard.. Blacking please... solve gurgle gurgle burp... replace bow t hruster battery (10 years old)  .. so arrived back at home base to find loo still burps big style... bow t hruster had no power when needed and now the inverter doesn't bloody work.... please please remind me why I love the feeling of freedom.. why I always have a smile on my face when the wind is in my face and I am travelling at the heady speed of 4 miles per hour..ps all the blacking I paid good money for was scrapped off when I grounded letting another boat pass me

 

[Cheshire cat]

Well....... If you've got a cassette loo ours used to burp and replacing the cassette solved the problem. I'm not suggesting you do that but the fault lies with the cassette rather than the loo.

[tagulablue]

Oh and add to that .. Got new rug cos rescue dog had peed on the old one.. put the new one down... 5 mins later he pee'd on it.. the exact same place.... do i remove rug or get rid of dog...yes I did slap him? Yes he did look guilty.. and no sodding dog stays!

 

[tagulablue]

Pump out Cheshire.. told them it was probably limescale .... they tested and decided there was nothing wrong with iţ

[AllanC]

Perhaps you might consider a change of diet and give the dog toilet training.

[tagulablue]

Allan you are not helping... cheer up was the clue!!

[AllanC]

And there was me thinking about the smile on your face when you find your pooch sitting on the toilet in the morning reading the paper. Bet that would cheer you up.

[NB Lola]

All self inflicted.  You need to cheer up.

[magictime]

9 hours ago, tagulablue said:

Got new rug cos rescue dog had peed on the old one.. put the new one down... 5 mins later he pee'd on it.. the exact same place.... do i remove rug or get rid of dog...yes I did slap him?

You hit your dog? Your rescue dog?

[bargemast]

9 hours ago, tagulablue said:

Oh and add to that .. Got new rug cos rescue dog had peed on the old one.. put the new one down... 5 mins later he pee'd on it.. the exact same place.... do i remove rug or get rid of dog...yes I did slap him? Yes he did look guilty.. and no sodding dog stays!

 

Sorry, I can't cheer you up, all I can say is that I feel very sorry for the poor dog.

 

Peter.

[Neil2]

You should be the one feeling guilty for slapping that poor dog.  At least you owned up.  We've had four rescue dogs, all of them have needed months, nay years, of patience care and attention, our second dog took six months to become properly house trained she started off a basket case but became the perfect companion.

Sorry, here endeth the lesson.

Boating is a love/hate thing anyone who claims they love every minute is an imbecile.  Life is all about light and shade, summer and winter, highs and lows.  Too many people expect to be happy all the time these days. 

    

[bizzard]

Demonstration is needed here, to teach the doggy to wee outside.  Choose a nice leafy tree or a smelly lampost in the high street. Command the dog to sit and watch you. Depending on the gender of the dog, ether cock your leg up at the tree or lampost or squat. This should work wonders with your doggy, never to wee on the mat again. My dad named his dog Sooner, sooner do it on the mat than go outside, until my mum did the demonstration ''as described above'' in the back garden using a peeony bush. Hope this helps.

[Cheshire cat]

If that dodn't make you smile I don't know what will!

[bargemast]

22 minutes ago, bizzard said:

Demonstration is needed here, to teach the doggy to wee outside.  Choose a nice leafy tree or a smelly lampost in the high street. Command the dog to sit and watch you. Depending on the gender of the dog, ether cock your leg up at the tree or lampost or squat. This should work wonders with your doggy, never to wee on the mat again. My dad named his dog Sooner, sooner do it on the mat than go outside, until my mum did the demonstration ''as described above'' in the back garden using a peeony bush. Hope this helps.

bizzard, I'm often wondering if there will ever be a problem for which you don't have the perfect and easy solution 

 

Peter.

[bizzard]

Now for the gurgling lav. It needs back flushing. Call in the fire brigade, this is the kind of practice they really enjoy, almost as much as releasing ladies toes stuck up a bath tap.  Seal off the lav compartment really well, and put the lid down, just in case clip peg on nose. Remove pump out main cap on the deck,''the big one'' leaving the rinse out one intact, removal of this one will destroy the cure.  Instruct a fireman to stick his high pressure hose into the pump out orifice, start the appliance up and turn it on, WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!.  Job done.  The brigade are usually content with a small contribution towards their benevolent fund for these little services.   Hope this helps too.

[rusty69]

2 minutes ago, bizzard said:

Now for the gurgling lav. It needs back flushing. Call in the fire brigade, this is the kind of practice they really enjoy, almost as much as releasing ladies toes stuck up a bath tap.  Seal off the lav compartment really well, and put the lid down, just in case clip peg on nose. Remove pump out main cap on the deck,''the big one'' leaving the rinse out one intact, removal of this one will destroy the cure.  Instruct a fireman to stick his high pressure hose into the pump out orifice, start the appliance up and turn it on, WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!.  Job done.  The brigade are usually content with a small contribution towards their benevolent fund for these little services.   Hope this helps too.

Would add to double check no one has snuck in for a quick sit while fireman is sorting out his hose. 

[Naughty Cal]

How can you be sad with the weekend just around the corner and the weather set to be scorchio? 

[rusty69]

4 minutes ago, Naughty Cal said:

How can you be sad with the weekend just around the corner and the weather set to be scorchio? 

It looks to be fab. We're off to do some proper boating, never mind this inland sewer tube rubbish! 

Edited April 7, 2017 by rusty69

[bizzard]

1 minute ago, Naughty Cal said:

How can you be sad with the weekend just around the corner and the weather set to be scorchio? 

Scorchio weather won't help with the pong from the lav.

[Naughty Cal]

1 minute ago, bizzard said:

Scorchio weather won't help with the pong from the lav.

Sat outside on the bank with a cold drink in one hand and a BBQ tool in the other you won't care about the pong from the lav inside.

[bizzard]

1 minute ago, Naughty Cal said:

Sat outside on the bank with a cold drink in one hand and a BBQ tool in the other you won't care about the pong from the lav inside.

As long as your upwind of it.

[NB Lola]

Ok, lets cheer you up.  I am sitting outside a shoppin centre in Valencia, sipping a cold lager whilst my wife shops.  You must feel blessed where you are at and cannot be tempted by an ice cold beer in temperatures north of 22c.  So, by feeling sorry for me, you realise how cheery you really are!

[rusty69]

6 minutes ago, NB Lola said:

Ok, lets cheer you up.  I am sitting outside a shoppin centre in Valencia, sipping a cold lager whilst my wife shops.  You must feel blessed where you are at and cannot be tempted by an ice cold beer in temperatures north of 22c.  So, by feeling sorry for me, you realise how cheery you really are!

You won't be so chirpy when you realize the misses has put all the shopping on your credit card. 

Edited April 7, 2017 by rusty69
Too many p's

[NB Lola]

31 minutes ago, rusty69 said:

You won't be so chirpy when you realize the misses has put all the shopping on your credit card. 

No problem there, joint cards and  I trust her with my life and our bank balance.  Anyhow, I spent more than she did just buying a van lid!

[Naughty Cal]

55 minutes ago, bizzard said:

As long as your upwind of it.

Having the boat down wind of the BBQ though just ends up with it being full of smoke 

Mind you that might mask the smell of the loo.