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A good cure for tunnel anxiety.


bizzard

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Regarding the other thread about the tunnel anxiety problem, to include a good wheeze to help or cure this, quite common fear of tunnels.

A little bit of practice is needed for this cure before entering tunnels. Here's how;- The device is called (TACT) tunnel anxiety cure tube.

A large cardboard tube, about 2ft long by 8inches diameter is required,1 ratchet strap, glue and some coloured paints.

The tube can be folded up from a sheet of stiff cardboard or an old oil can with the top and bottom knocked out can be utilized, or a rolled up piece of lino will do.

1. Glue together to form the tube. At one end attach the ratchet strap firmly.

2. Fitting= Grasp hold of the tube and hold it up firmly against your face and peer down the tube. The tube should envelope your eyes and and hooter. Trim up the tubes end with a knife to fit your facial contours comfortably and accurately so that no light can get in.

3. Camouflage the outside of the tube with the coloured paints. This is quite important if your a bit touchy about being embarrassed in public, because for the tube to be a successful cure it HAS to be worn ALL THE TIME, day and night without removal, even in bed, for 2 months, 3 days, 1 hour and one 1/2 second precisely, before you set forth on a real tunnel adventure.

4. For realism the view down the tube can be made very much like the internals of a real tunnel by, once again with the use of your paints and to paint brick courses, dirt, grime, slime and exhaust soot, this is easily performed with a slim bent paint brush and mirror. To make it even more realistic a little hold can be bored on the tubes top wherein a little funnel can be place for you you to pour a little water in now and then to represent real tunnel roof leaks.

5. Illumination= To represent your tunnel light a little battery powered LED light can be clipped onto your hooter with a peg or small Mole-grip inside the tube, positioned to shine through the tube. To emulate a boat coming towards you another LED light can be clipped to the tubes opposite portal.

6. To emulate a proper boat coming the other way a small model boat complete with tunnel light can be constructed and stuck down inside the tube.

6. Sound= To complete this simulation the sound of your engine should be recorded and played via headphones.

 

To benefit fully of the wonderful success of this device and to cure tunnel fright it is very important for me to stress again (as above) that the TACT must be worn at all times for the duration mentioned above. Tootloo for now. mellow.png

 

A deluxe model could be made everso long and telescopic which could be gradually telescoped towards you to give the impression of being on a moving boat, which would give you great comfort as you see the end of the tunnel approaching and safety.

Edited by bizzard
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Dear Mr Bizzard

Thank you for your wise words of wisdom

I will endeavour to construct a TACT without delay and ensure I wear it as advised.

 

However I have a few concerns regarding how can I shower? drive a car? eat? drink?

I am sure these minor concerns can be adequately overcome and I will emerge from my enforced time attached to TACT a new woman....

Regards

Patty

Edited by patty-ann
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I cant believe CRT aren't making money selling these devices though Midland Swindlers and other disreputable outlets already Bizzard,

There must be a fortune available for the first mass production TunnelWatchAssimulationTrainer device

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Dear Mr Bizzard

Thank you for your wise words of wisdom

I will endeavour to construct a TACT without delay and ensure I wear it as advised.

 

However I have a few concerns regarding how can I shower? drive a car? eat? drink?

I am sure these minor concerns can be adequately overcome and I will emerge from my enforced time attached to TACT a new woman....

Regards

Patty

Thank you for the inquiry patty-ann. Erm, firstly, thank you, but I'm not very wise, but I'm off to the dentist next week to have a wisdom tooth put in.

Yes, these are only minor concerns, trivial little teething problems really, easily surmounted with a bit of adaption. If you paint the TACT with waterproof paint it will be quite sturdy enough to wear whilst showering. Driving;- If you wear a pair of my patent Lego built up sole adjustment shoes to extend your legs and with the seat shoved right back your feet will reach the pedals, the outer end of the TACT can be clipped to the visor to give forward but non panoramic but quite adequate tunnel vision. Eating and drinking is no problem at all, just lie on yer back and pour food and drink bit by bit down the tube. OK.

Edited by bizzard
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I'm a bit worried my TACT will be so effective that I will be tempted to have a wee off the back of my boat whilst travelling through my virtual tunnel (as is my habit). This could be embarrassing in the middle of the high street.

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I am concerned at your suggestion of a mole-grip. I have never had cause to grip a mole in a canal tunnel, and mole tunnels are too small for gripping anything. I am also worried that the mole may be startled by the hooter. Always important to have a big hooter in a tunnel, and to be ready to deploy it at a moment's notice.

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I'm a bit worried my TACT will be so effective that I will be tempted to have a wee off the back of my boat whilst travelling through my virtual tunnel (as is my habit). This could be embarrassing in the middle of the high street.

You need what is call a (Car John) They used to be advertised in the News Of The World. A sort of bottle strapped to the upper leg with a rubber tube and Jubilee clip to secure it.

Edited by bizzard
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I am concerned at your suggestion of a mole-grip. I have never had cause to grip a mole in a canal tunnel, and mole tunnels are too small for gripping anything. I am also worried that the mole may be startled by the hooter. Always important to have a big hooter in a tunnel, and to be ready to deploy it at a moment's notice.

As tunnels bore through hills which Moles may have started in the first place I think the mole grip is quite appropriate. The hooter should remain silent, unless it has a cold of course and if it starts to run you'd have to chase it.

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I live in the Isle of Man, we don't have any moles here (nor toads, snakes, foxes, squirrels, etc) so has anyone invented a rabbit clip to attach the light?

Do you have any tunnels to boat through in the Isle of Man?

Signed

Curious of Canals

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Sadly not even one, no canals either - I feel so hard done by, I might cry

Never mind you can try Mr Bizzards invention on the bumpy stuff..

Wonder if its possible to send you one of our tunnels..Im sure Braunston wouldn't be missed..they could replace it with long straight no wiggle lighted transit tube.

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