Twenty Minute Face Off

[BlueStringPudding]

... With the spider of doom. It was huge and a sprinter but was not going to move into a place I could splat it without risk of it getting me.

 

I couldn't get off the bed, it had me trapped. I bashed the ceiling to make it run. It didn't. I bashed the wall. Nothing.

 

So we waited. "Mano i arachno. "

 

I needed to make it move but not fall but I had nowt to squirt it with. Then I remembered my asthma inhaler. Two squirts and it barely even sneezed. Thank goodness it wasn't my old steroid inhaler, it might have given it muscles and an anger management problem.

 

After bashing the hell out of the blinds the waft of air made it run. It was me or it. I hit it with a book. It was cross but not dead. I think it read the reviews on the back cover. I squashed it with my slipper and finally it scrunched itself into a podule and dropped to the floor with a splot.

 

I can never wear that slipper again. And never read that book again. And will have to pluck up some courage in the morning to step over the zombie.

 

Tonight: Adrenalin thru the roof. No sleep for me till morning.

Edited September 6, 2011 by BlueStringPudding

[luctor et emergo]

But what about all the other spiders, living on your boat?

[smudge837]

I do feel for you. but i must admit to a small chuckle.

 

just have a thought for the family that is waiting for the hunter gatherer to bring home some scoff so they don't have to go out hunting in the night.

 

Sleep well

 

 

Spiders are people too

 

 

Smudge

[nb Innisfree]

Apparently some species have a genetic predisposition to defend each other by attacking in numbers like wasps....

[BlueStringPudding]

You b*stards!

 

I've got to get up in four and a half hours time for work. Three important 2 hour meetings, one of which is with the board of governors. I'm not going to be in a good way.

Edited September 6, 2011 by BlueStringPudding

[Ange]

Meanies

 

I can totally relate BSP - I can remember burying a dead spider under a pile of books and Dave had to remove it.

 

Nowadays I've got a natty spider catcher that allows me to deposit unwelcome visitors onto the towpath undamaged. Saying that I've temporarily lost it ... (the spider catcher that is )

[BlueStringPudding]

I used to have one of those but I was too scared to use it!

 

I need a new phobia. This one's rubbish!

And very inconvenient

Edited September 6, 2011 by BlueStringPudding

[Ange]

I'm pretty rubbish with spiders but have no problem with a spider catcher!

 

I'm sorry BSP but the truth is clear - you need a bloke to chase the spiders away!! Where's Cilla gone?

[BlueStringPudding]

I need Cilla to chase the spiders away! Even spiders have a phobia. According to my brother, Staffies are pretty good spider catchers too. Maybe I should just get a dog? A lot easier to keep than a feller. More likely to be housetrained. Less embarrassing scratching. Politer eating habits...

 

***ducks and waits for the inevitable retaliation from the boys***

 

[Peter Reed]

... With the spider of doom. It was huge and a sprinter but was not going to move into a place I could splat it without risk of it getting me.

 

I couldn't get off the bed, it had me trapped. I bashed the ceiling to make it run. It didn't. I bashed the wall. Nothing.

 

So we waited. "Mano i arachno. "

 

I needed to make it move but not fall but I had nowt to squirt it with. Then I remembered my asthma inhaler. Two squirts and it barely even sneezed. Thank goodness it wasn't my old steroid inhaler, it might have given it muscles and an anger management problem.

 

After bashing the hell out of the blinds the waft of air made it run. It was me or it. I hit it with a book. It was cross but not dead. I think it read the reviews on the back cover. I squashed it with my slipper and finally it scrunched itself into a podule and dropped to the floor with a splot.

 

I can never wear that slipper again. And never read that book again. And will have to pluck up some courage in the morning to step over the zombie.

 

Tonight: Adrenalin thru the roof. No sleep for me till morning.

A greenie for you 'cos you're hilarious at 1 in the AM

[DaveC]

Never mind, the conker season is just around the corner. A couple of conkers on each window sill and no more spiders. It really does work.

 

Dave

[Athy]

What have you got against spiders? They are not a nuisance as flies and wasps can be,m and they are fascinating to watch. I believe that the presence of spiders in a boat is a reassuring sign that the interior is nice and dry too.

I have sometimes caught spiders in my cupped hands and put them outside, at the request of Mrs. Athy, but I would never harm one.

[Water Rat.]

Buy some spider ex from spiderex.co.uk

 

A friend sprayed my boat with it and I have not seen one since.

[BlueStringPudding]

What have you got against spiders? They are not a nuisance as flies and wasps can be,m and they are fascinating to watch. I believe that the presence of spiders in a boat is a reassuring sign that the interior is nice and dry too.

I have sometimes caught spiders in my cupped hands and put them outside, at the request of Mrs. Athy, but I would neverb harm one.

Mine must be scuba spiders coz I have 11 leaking windows.

 

I'm in the process of ordering something like that. I hope when it arrives it works. I might just spray myself in it

[Ally]

you need a man they say....yeh right!!!

Got myself a man who was more afraid of spiders than I was......

...I came home once to find him desparate to use the bathroom facilities....BUT.....the spider was standing guard!!

in fairness, it has completely cured me of my spider phobia!! I am now the one that calmly deals with every spider the dog doesn't eat!

So actually, yes, get a man!!!

[Bobbybass]

At least you didn't get bitten !

 

The loft of my house in Sussex..is full of false widow spiders.

Over the years..I got bitten twice..and needed the doctor with one of those as my arm swelled up.

It was then...that I researched it on 'the net'...and discovered that there are 14 species of spider in the UK that bite if provoked..(ie getting hit on the head with books)

 

And before you say..'hey...how do things like that live in the UK'..my mate was demolishing a house in Lewes...East Sussex....

He dislodged a scorpion from a beam as he put a rope around...and got a painful sting.I used to get these (European scorpions) when I lived by the docks in Hove.

 

Next time you eye one of those 8 legged monsters on your boat...make sure you have your spider identification chart with you.

They could strike back !!

 

bob

[sebrof]

You need a few spiders around to get rid of the flies.

 

I suggest you deal with your spider phobia. It's completely irrational (unless you live somewhere that has Black Widows).

[Yellowback]

You b*stards!

 

I've got to get up in four and a half hours time for work. Three important 2 hour meetings, one of which is with the board of governors. I'm not going to be in a good way.

 

You're not going to feeling good, how do you think that poor eater of midges, mosquitoes, and wasps is going to feel, swatted after all his valiant work in the defence of your fair skin.

[paddy r]

Before we move on to the boat i did long distance lorry driving,France,Spain.One day coming round the Paris ring road my wife phoned to say there was a spider in the bath and her and our two boys(11 and 13)couldn't get past it!So your not the only one!

[Guest]

What have you got against spiders? They are not a nuisance as flies and wasps can be,m and they are fascinating to watch. I believe that the presence of spiders in a boat is a reassuring sign that the interior is nice and dry too.

I have sometimes caught spiders in my cupped hands and put them outside, at the request of Mrs. Athy, but I would never harm one.

 

Here, here - spiders are our friends.

[Roxy]

When I'm on my boat, they seem to come to life at night when Im due to go to bed, I sit there and name each one after all my ex's, then splat em! makes me feel so much better after and I can then get a good nights sleep without fear of them climbing in my earholes or up my nose.......

[BlueStringPudding]

[GeoffS]

dont they say you eat many spiders when sleeping without knowing?

[matty40s]

dont they say you eat many spiders when sleeping without knowing?

 

Geoff, I think you are being very norty, go to the chat room by yourself!!!

[Smelly]

Here, here - spiders are our friends.

 

However not Ange or BSP's... Or Ally's fella...

 

I had a pet spider of fly eating capacity on my last boat called Cyril. The next season I discovered it should have been Cilla as they were lots of Cyrilettes to e dealt with.

 

I keep the big uns, in facts there's one under the cover on the engine panel discouraging BP from doing any cruising as we speak. When they nest I get nasty!