Wheese of the week

[bizzard]

Someone mentioned last week about facing forward whilst steering.

Well i've been practicing this method for many years,It enables you to go along in the winter with your hands in your pockets keeping warm.Rolling fags with both hands instead of one, and making a mess of it.Pouring drinks ect.

Going along with the tiller in the small of your back or lower is awkward,as it keeps slipping away and you usually end up having to grab the tiller anyway to keep on course.

Well my solution is;--Get a wide leather belt and rivet on the back a small Christmas pudding tin or small Fray Bentos suet pudding tin,pop rivets,snap or the leather type rivets. Stand facing forward,engage pudding tin with tiller handle and away you go. For those who's tiller does not align up to the bottom area or just above,can rivet the tin to an old ladies corset which can be slid up and down the hip area for correct alignment.That's it 'simple'.Just be careful sitting down,just twiddle the tin around to the front. Happy tillering. bizzard.

[pistnbroke]

yes its so boring at 4 mph you need something else to do to keep the brain alive ...( ps most of you carnt even manage 4 mph )

[NB Lola]

Mad

[carlt]

Edited August 8, 2011 by carlt

[pig]

The height of my tiller and the length of my legs allow me to steer the boat with the tiller in my gentlemen's area

As said above, it's very useful - hands in pockets in cold weather to keep warm, or holding map/tinny/etc in both hands.

Also when passing nice ladies, if I step back six inches, the tiller protrudes in a satisfyingly obscene manner.

[carlt]

Also when passing nice ladies,

If nice ladies are ever encountered, on the towpath, they should be rescued immediately and escorted to a civilised environment.

 

[Tiny]

Or (out of the same stable) why not wireless vibrating nipple clamps to keep you awake. On cold days when the east wind doth blow you can also wear tights, an thermal balacalava and ski mask as well as thermal underware, baselayer and all the top gear up to your firefox jacket.

 

The height of my tiller and the length of my legs allow me to steer the boat with the tiller in my gentlemen's area

As said above, it's very useful - hands in pockets in cold weather to keep warm, or holding map/tinny/etc in both hands.

Also when passing nice ladies, if I step back six inches, the tiller protrudes in a satisfyingly obscene manner.

The correct tiller height is so it pokes into you where your tail would connect if you still had one then you lean back and flexing your body in the right direction steers the boat on all but the sharpest bends where a gloved hand maybe be needed. (Note the body motion may seem rather weird to anyone observing you but what the hell.)

Edited August 8, 2011 by Tiny

[carlt]

where a gloved hand maybe be needed.

...and extra lashings of KY.

[Chagall]

 

very clever advertising! I wonder how they worded that in the board room

[carlt]

very clever advertising! I wonder how they worded that in the board room

It's a fake ad, unfortunately.

[Chagall]

It's a fake ad, unfortunately.

 

then they could have put Masters & Johnson bottom right?

[grahame r]

Or (out of the same stable) why not wireless vibrating nipple clamps to keep you awake.

 

That's just silly.

[nb Innisfree]

I'm beginning to wonder if our decision to go with wheel steering was the right one, seems a bit boring now and I could be missing out on some very stimulating cruising.

[carlt]

I'm beginning to wonder if our decision to go with wheel steering was the right one,

But, with enough KY to go round, the ship's wheel is far more sociable than the solitary tiller handle.

 

[bizzard]

Now look ere.

I'm really shocked at this response to a serious post.My amazing device being ridiculed like this.If i took it to the Dragons Den they wouldn't be rude about it,they'd simply rave over it and offer the full £175,000 i need to develop it,and they wouldn't knock my equity down. The pudding tin should prevent any personal stimulation or interferance in the lower region anyway.Why you'll be suggesting that it could be used for prostate examinations next.I've been working on an engine all morning and just popped in for cup of tea,turned on the old sandwich toaster and saw all this,they'll be pulling the plug on me next. Indignantly bizzard

[bizzard]

Anyone made and tested it yet? they work really well. bizzard.

[Robin2]

Anyone made and tested it yet? they work really well. bizzard.

 

We're still waiting for the £175,000 ...

[bizzard]

We're still waiting for the £175,000 ...

Don't wait for those dragons,they're a mean bunch.For the cost of a Kate and Sydney pud,about £2, job done. bizzard

[BlueStringPudding]

 

[bizzard]

Also good for lubricating Cutlarse rubber water lubricated sterntubes. bizzard

[Robin2]

Don't wait for those dragons,they're a mean bunch.For the cost of a Kate and Sydney pud,about £2, job done. bizzard

 

You couldn't prove compliance with the RCD and the BSS on a budget of £2

[bizzard]

Everythings gone funny.

[Bee]

KY, excellent for getting spigots into tight hoses, just be careful to wipe it off your hose though as the jubilee clip will slide round when you screw it up.

What? I'm being serious. Its not me, its your mind.